Transcript of Interview Between Feroz Bashari and Rabia Ibrahim Regarding American Culture and Way of Life

 

Feroz Bashari introduction: Dear countrymen, in particularly  those who have been recently resettled in the United States to live, study and work here. As you know, I have been filming a series of segments on American culture.  You all need to know about the culture of your new country in order to fit in the society. Today, I decided to record this video in a different way.  Recently, I was acquainted with a woman from Peshawar. She speaks Pashto. She came to the United States 22 years ago. She lives in Texas.  Her name is Rabia. She will tell us all about her life in the United States and the things we need to know as new settlers. Ms. Rabia welcome to today's interview. Let's start from here Rabia. You came to the United States 22 years ago. You came from a different culture. What were the problems and challenges you faced when you first started to live here? Please share your experience with us.

Rabia: Brother! First of all, when you leave your home, you almost leave behind everything. One leaves all relatives behind. When you come to the United States, women are alone at home. Men go outside to work. They need to make money. We, women, stay at home alone with kids. Driving is an issue for us at the beginning. Buying groceries is a problem for us at the beginning. When I arrived in the U.S., I was alone. Had no friends or a relative. I was at home by myself. I missed home and relatives. We did not have social media like Whatsapp and the internet. Now, it is good that women have access to the internet. These were the problems I mentioned.

Feroz: Exactly, we came here from a different culture. We almost face a cultural shock. The culture is different here. The food, the water, even the weather. Did you feel the same shock and difference?

Rabia: Brother! Exactly, all you said is correct. Our culture is different. First of all our religion is different. our food is different. the way we live and the way Americans live are different. At the first, when one comes here, he/ she thinks, they are here for a visit as a tourist. They don't feel a lot at the beginning. As time passes, you feel all these problems. But, as time passes, God helps you find ways to tackle these problems.

  
Feroz: Then, how did you adjust to all this? Did you accept the culture or did you melt and fit into this new culture? How did you manage to get your food? You don't have access to the same food, you had access to them back home. especially the Halal food. How did you manage to help yourself?

Feroz: Brother! There were things we accepted like driving a car or going to get our own groceries. You know, women don't go out of home in our country.  In regard to our clothes, food, and religion, we cannot leave them. We have to keep them. Thank God, I got settled in Houston city. There are many Halal meat shops. That was not a problem then. Sometimes, we wear our own clothes, sometimes we try American clothes. You know, it takes time. Women need to know each other. Mosques are good places to get together for women.

Feroz: You pointed out to mosques, most people outside the United States think, there are no mosques in the United States, you can't pray, you cannot manage to get Halal meat and food,  but on the contrary, there is freedom of religion here. One can practice their religion. You can get Halal food, and meat and even can get a sheep to slaughter. In Afghanistan and even in Peshawar, women don't go to the mosque, indeed they are not allowed to go to a mosque, especially for Eid prayers, my wife went to a mosque to do Eid prayers for the first time in her life here in the United States.  Tell me about all this. People need to hear it from your mouth.

Rabia: Indeed, I went to the mosque for the first time in the United States. Women don't go to the mosques in our countries. Mullah calls for prayers five times a day. Meat is always Halal. Before coming here, I didn't know if the meat can be none Halal too. A mosque is a good place for women. There are classes in the mosques. women can learn Quran. They can see other women. You know like in Pakistan and Afghanistan, when men go to work in the morning, women get together in the mosque and socialize. They get one dish party. Children play in the mosque. Women get some religious lessons. here in the U.S., we have a separate section for women in the mosque.

Feroz: This means, they can preserve their religion and Islamic practices, one thing that is important is that there is freedom of religion here in the United States. Everyone can put on their desired outfit like right now you have Islamic Hijab. No one has a problem with this.

Rabia: I hope so. In this country, you can wear anything you want. No one has told us anything yet about our clothes.

Feroz: It is good about the United States because there is freedom of religion here as well as freedom of expression. Everyone can practice their own faith. In some countries, you cannot practice your religion. But here, we can practice ours.

Rabia: You are right. Like Paris, people can't have Hijab. The other day, we decided to go to Paris, France, for our vacation, but my kids told me that" Mom! we cannot go to Paris because of the ban on Hijab. Because I have Hijab, so we decided not to go. You are right, this is not an issue in the U.S. My new Afghan immigrant friend might face some problems at the beginning because Most people come to the U.S. with H1 visa or other Visa and they were prepared to travel to the United States and have a good plan already prepared. They come here to get a job and rent a house. But our Afghan immigrants are here in a different situation. They need assistance from the government. They don't have money. They don't have jobs. But, God might resolve everything.

  
Feroz: Indeed, it might be difficult for men and women at the beginning. You were educated and speak English even when you came here. Most Afghan immigrant women don't speak English. So, language would be an issue. Please advise women on what to do. How do you assure them that things would be fine in the future and they will have a better life in the future? Most women are worried, they are depressed. They miss their home, their kitchen however, they have a good kitchen here, and life is good and peaceful here. But they are here from a different environment. Some of them are depressed and might have some sort of anxiety. You are a physician. What is your advice to them? what they should do?

Rabia: Brother, if God put someone in a hardship, at the same time God will try to ease the problem for them. it is in our Quran as well. "Where hardship comes easily".  You know, women are a little bit emotional too. That is why we face some sort of hardship and depression. God made us like this.  The good thing is that there are agencies that support Afghan immigrants like Catholic Charities, Jewish Family Services,

Feroz: Spero and CAIR as well

Rabia: Yes, Spero and CAIR, CAIR is a Muslim organization. They are our Muslims. They all provided a great deal of support to our Afghan immigrants. I haven't heard of this much support in the past.

Feroz: Assistance is one side of the story here. But, tell us what they should do to deal with depression and anxiety. Go sightseeing, meet people, get together in social groups, learn English and go to school?

Rabia: ESL classes are recommended. They need to learn a little English and then get a job. They will make money. They can even send it back home to their extended family members.
Feroz: I got two important points from your words. 1. Work.  You know, mostly, women don't work in Afghanistan. They are too much busy at home. They do the cook, the wash, and the dishes. Here in the United States, both women and men work. It is good that women work and become self-sufficient economically. 2. Driving. You know back home, people don't drive a lot. They get most of their necessities by walking. Here everyone has to have a car. The city is really spread out.

Rabia: Absolutely. You are right. Also, in our country, men work outside. They don't participate in housework. Here in the United States, if men help at home on weekends, and take care of children, it helps give time to women to learn English and take driving classes. Everything takes time. "One step at a time". Children need to go to school too. We are with these women. It is good to stay in touch with the newly arrived immigrants.

Feroz: So, your advice is that men and women work together at home. Both need to work outside to support their families. Also, men help women to go out learn English and get a job. Women should stand on their own feet. In the United States, it is important that women stand on their own feet, so if women don't get an education and don't work, how will they stand on their own feet?

Rabia: Yes, if their husband gets sick or they have another emergency or their husband dies,  they need to be able to tackle the issue. It is individualism here. It is even individualism in our countries. We will have problems.

Feroz: You are right, if their children are sick, mom doesn't speak English, can't drive, don't know how to call for an Uber, the husband is far from the house on duty, what they should do? So, your advice is that they learn English and learn how to drive.

Rabia. Yes, agree. Also, men need to help women learn to drive. I have seen many men helping their women to learn to drive. I have seen men going with women to doctor appointments. Men also help their women a lot here.

Feroz: Another thing, I want you to talk about is mental health. You know, it is important for both men and women. They face a cultural shock here. They came from different countries. There was fighting in Afghanistan and most of their women and men experience explosions and hard times. In our country, people don't visit a mental health care service center. People will call them "crazy". Here people normally see mental doctors if they feel even a little depressed. What is your advice to the Afghan community?

Rabia: Yes, we came from a war-torn country. It is important that women accept that mental health is necessary. It is not bad to see a mental doctor. They need to see the doctor. Counseling and therapy are also important. They will talk to these women. Thanks for raising this issue. Mental health care is also necessary for men and children. Children will face pressure at school because they don't speak English. Good to talk about these problems in the family and find a solution for them.

Feroz: OK, if we conclude our interview, we can say that the United States is the land of opportunities. We can practice our religion, we can preserve our culture, we can get Halal food, and we have freedom of expression. We have access to education and health care. It is important to learn about it. To learn about laws. Learn about American culture too. We need to know how they live and work.

Rabia: Exactly, yeah, our religion, our culture, and the freedom here. Opportunies are important.

Feroz: Mostly people say that they don't want to lose their culture. Keep it, but learn American culture too. You live here. You need to learn about this culture and the way of living here. If you go to school or university, you need to learn about the culture, so you can fit in easily. Even at work, you need to know the culture. Hygiene and cleanliness are also important.

Rabia: Absolutely.

Feroz: Also, we need to keep ourselves clean. Take shower and use deodorants and body wash. Wear clean clothes.

Rabia: Absolutely.

Feroz: Thank you so much for coming and doing this interview. If you want to say anything else or your last message you are free to do that, please.

Rabia: Thank you. Next time we will talk more. You will talk about your own experience next time. We will hear about your experience too.

Feroz: Dear countrymen, thank you for being with us until the end of the interview. In the future, we will have more for you. Have a good time.
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